Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 
Tea. A natural gift of love.

After a good night's sleep, even the darkest of yesterdays can be swept aside by the promises of a new day. Today finds the skies blue and sunny, the air warm with only a slight wind, and my breath smelling like tea. Which unto intself is interesting considering how all I had to do to acquire tea-breath was eat chocolate.

Yes indeed, it appears that you can now buy tea-flavoured chocolate.

I can't quite describe the taste, yet it undeniably resembles the taste in my mouth after having a cup of tea, made no less from fresh tea leaves. The product in question is a form of Pocky (an Asian treat consisting of long, thin cookie or bread sticks covered in chocolate) called From Leaf. The manufacturers insist that: "Sunlight and mist turn a young leaf into tea. Tea can turn you into something new. Tea. A natural gift of love."

As far as I can tell, the something new I've turned into is a guy with tea-breath who has not drunk tea at all today. With tea-flavoured chocolate now in existence, tea-flavoured tea can't be far behind....

Today's lesson: tea-flavoured chocolate may just be able to combat that cheap-Parisean-whore's-pet-gerbil smell I get from that Givenchy Pour Homme cologne.
posted by Phillip at 2:04 PM

 
Humanity Would Be Great If It Wasn’t For All The People...

Today’s little bit of nowhere was going to chronicle the misadventures of me vs. a 4 month-old baby’s soiled diapers, which would have involved a lot of remarks along the lines of “Breathe through the nose!” and “What the hell did he eat? This stuff looks like tapioca pudding gone horribly awry!”

However, recent events over the past few days have prompted something along a more serious, if not potentially damning, observation that has sadly vindicated itself once again.

Humanity would be great if it wasn’t for all the people.

It is something that can be said by any person at any given time in their life, at any given place in the world. It can be spoken of friend and family alike. And more often than not it has such destructive power that it can bring down the strong of heart, and bring those already struggling to their grave.

There are names I could give and post here, and with the written word eviscerate them in public before both peers and strangers, but admittedly that would be rather petty of me. So instead I hope my intimations will be enough to satisfy the curious, and provoke the curious to think.

Sometimes I think humanity’s greatest problem is that everyone wants to be right, everyone wants to be infallible, and everyone simply has to have the decisive final word on any matter. Whether or not this is the cause or a mere symptom can be debated amongst those who read and wish to pursue the quandary further.

For me, I believe that our arrogance, as a whole or as individuals, is a symptom. The cause is that in today’s world, very few people know what it means to listen. True communication depends upon listening as much as speaking, and it is no mere “I heard the words you said.”

Listening in its truest form is hearing what was said by someone else, and then taking those words into account with every little nuance and gesture they have made, and then taking stock of how they see the world from their eyes, not yours. We cannot truly listen if we do not try to understand.

The arrogance comes from mistakenly believing that we are the ones who understand and they do not, that before the conversation has come to a close we are right and they are not, and if they cannot see it our way, they are stubborn, insensitive and have wronged us.

We make martyrs of ourselves, and cry foul when we are the ones who are the offenders, and in the end it will come as a great shock to learn that for all our wonderful words, for all our magnificent arguments, we deserve to be crucified. Pride serves only itself, and it is a cruel, abusive master. In the end it will devour the very person who serves to feed it.

Life is filled with people who talk. People who rant. People who scream. Only when we take the time to listen carefully to them can we understand where not only their own insecurities and faults lay, but ours as well. Only by listening can we discern whether or not they are worth listening to further, or if they should be ignored and allowed to wallow in the vengeance that awaits them.

In the end, what you’re reading are only words. You may take some heed, or you may ignore them, or you may take offence at them. At the very least I hope they got you thinking, and ideally daring to face the darkness without yourself.

Are you listening? Or are you merely hearing a buzz in your ears?





posted by Phillip at 7:00 PM

 
Bring me the butt of the blonde bishie elf!!

Well, between watching the ongoing war or watching the ongoing Oscars, I decided to make the constructive choice and opted to watch some of Monty Python: Live At The Hollywood Bowl. I swear, it's at times like these that I'd rather have to worry if the albatross comes with wafers than anything else. Of course, knowing my luck, I'll be unable to get a good sleep tonight, and I'll be tossing and turning and wondering if those wafers were in fact vegetarian-friendly. Not that it would really matter if you eat vegetarian Tofu-wafers with a side order of albatross.

But that's just me ranting.

Today's seen its share of ups, downs, upside-downs, right-side-ups, inside-outs and "Whaaaa?" moments. I can't exactly say I relished every little bit of them, though I have found it very odd in admitting that if Melissa was to have a one-night fling with Heath Ledger, I wouldn't be opposed since Heath does in fact have a cute ass. I'll follow this up by saying it takes a very secure man to admit to this, and I'm sufficiently delusional to believe I'm that secure.

I cannot, however, abide by her insistence that a one-night fling with Legolas Greenleaf (as played by Orlando Bloom in the Lord of the Rings movies) should merit equal approval by me. This has made me stop and think very carefully about why I have this severe disliking for Legolas. Well, movie-Legolas, at any rate.

Is it because he has long blonde hair, and I do not? Possibly. Is it because he can walk on snow, and I'd have to wade hip-deep in it? That's a good reason for me to not like the guy. Is it because he's impossibly bishounen (which is Japanese for "pretty-boy")? Ha! I'm just as sexy in a thong as he would be. Is it because of his pointy ears? Bah, I can have pointy ears too, just point me to the nearest pencil sharpener! Is it because he dresses like a nancy-boy? Well...in all honesty, all Elves in the movies seem to share the same fashion sense (that is: a questionable one) and to quote Guy Pierce in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, "Green is just so not your colour."

So in the end, when you break it all down, I dislike Legolas because the guy looks good in green, and when I try wearing green it just looks like a moss garden exploded all over me.

The moral of today's little bit of nowhere: Heath good, blonde-haired bishie-elf bad.


posted by Phillip at 6:25 PM